Dark Mechanic

The film is getting a bit of stick, and although I thought the acting was good, the effects were amazing, it really really suffered from an awful script. I’m starting to think that if Ridley Scott’s name wasn’t attached to this, it would of just been a poor sci-fi film that no one really cared about.

I mean, none of the characters actually acknowledged what was going on, or even talked about it. I’m not knocking the film, some people like it, some people don’t, but it just left me wondering why.

So I’m going to list all the “Why’s” in the film. Not because I’m actually interested in having them answered, but just why. Why put them in. Why bother.

- Why did no one know each other on the ship? Were they frozen then put on the ship? In that case, when they landed, why didn’t any of them look back and acknowledge the massive fucking spaceship they just got out of?

- Do people land on planets all the time? Why weren’t they bothered about being first humans ever to be on that planet.

- How did they find the thing they needed to look for a minute after entering the atmosphere? Planets are big right?

-Why was the main scientist dude really sad when they discovered, albiet the remains, of an alien civilisation? Isn’t that in the least bit fucking interesting?

- Why didn’t they include that Weyland talk on TED they made? Whats the point of having a sub-character/twist of an old dude that you don’t see when he’s young? When he had ideals? Maybe that would of been a reason for him to want to live longer? Why would anyone care about him if you don’t establish his character?

- Why does no one obey the ships captain?

- Why does no one plan anything? 

- Why did the guy with navigation things get lost? With the guy he wasn’t very friendly to at the beginning?

- Whats the point of building animosity between characters if they instantly make up and run away together?

- Why did he have tattoos on his head? Was it religious or to make more fearsome? Because he fucking ran away.

- Why did David touch that hieroglyph and get slime on his fingers and go ‘interesting’ and then turn on the hologram, and then not tell anyone how he did it? I thought it was interesting? Why did know one ask?

- Why did no one get angry when David opened the door when he was told not to? He’s built to serve right? Wouldn’t someone think that was wierd?

- Why is there a mural of a familier alien bursting out someones stomach, and then that weird cobra thing that went into that guys mouth, like a proto-face hugger, when the actual genesis for creating an alien is so dependant on a chance sexual encounter between an infected male, which then depends on inseminating a Space Jockey. Had this happened before? And if so, really?

- Why is there a shot of some worms going into the black goo? Are there worms on this planet? Did know one notice? Did the android not notice?

- Why did the worms turn into the snake thing? Why didn’t they turn into zombie worms?

- Why would you establish this creature, and then abandon it after its second appearance?

- Why did that guy try and pet it? Is he literally the most stupid man they could get for that mission? It looks like a cobra, would you pet a fucking cobra?

- Why did no one notice their was a skull on top of the building they were in after the storm? Pretty fucking ominous don’t you think?

- Why did the head explode? Why did no one talk about that?

- Why did David want to instantly infect a human? Did he even do any test on the black goo?

- Why did the scientist dude, after noticing he was coming down with something, after previously swanning about in an alien atmosphere with no helmet, fucking tell some one? Does he literally not care about anyone?

- Oh but he does, because he got himself burnt to death to protect everyone?

- Why didn’t he just take his helmet off to kill himself? For all he knew, that would of killed him as well.

- Why did the captain not notice when the two guys got lost?

- Why did the captain not tell anyone, nor seem bothered by a big pile of dead alien bodies?

- Why does the captain have a fucking accordion? Is that to hint at a deeper, hidden character? Because that went out the window when tries to have sex with the super bitch.

- Why is he having sex with the super bitch?

- Why does the other infected guy fold up like a contortionist?

- Why does the black goo make people super strong zombies that can breath in that planets atmosphere? As a bio-weapon, isn’t that the complete fucking opposite to what you want to happen to an intended target?

- Why did the zombie guy kill all those people and then no one seemed to notice all those people died. Don’t they have roles on the ship? Isn’t anyone fucking interested why that even happened?

- Why do they have flamethrowers with them? What posible use is a flamethrower? Guns work fine don’t they? Is that a nod to the other alien films? It’s an Alien prequel for gods sake, we get the fucking picture.

- Why wasn’t Shaw upset her boyfriend died? Not just died, infected, zombiefied, burnt to death.

- Why is David suddenly so mean to Shaw?

- Why did the medic team not seem to be bothered, or even give chase, when Shaw attacked them and ran away?

- Why was that alien fetus thing so badly designed?

- Why didn’t she fucking tell anyone?

- Why, didn’t she tell the captain their was an alien baby on the ship? Why didn’t the captain tell her everyone was pretty much dead? Are they on twitter?

- Why was David mean to Shaw again?

- Why was old Weyland not interested in all these life threatening situations, seeing as he came with the mission to extend his life? Why didn’t Shaw say anything more specific?

- Why do they need a fucking flute to start the computer?

- Really, why a flute?

- Why wasn’t the big alien dude surprised to be woken up, surrounded by humans, all shouting, speaking his language and hitting each other? Happen often does it?

- Why did old frail Weyland say some bullshit before he died? He couldn’t even stand on his own before, and now he gets battered over the head by a massive alien and still has brain that isn’t fluid?

- Why did the ships captain eject the super bitch’s compartment? Did he think she was in it? Why was she not in it? Wasn’t that the point of the thing?

- Why run in a straight line?

- Why did the alien fetus grow really really big? How was that anyway related to the aliens? Why is it white?

- Why did Shaw come back to the android, he practically killed her boyfriend?

- Why is the final scene a shot of badly realised proto-alien? Did they need to throw that in as well? They’ve gone to a different planet now anyway right? So whats the point. Oh, it has two sets of teeth, why is that then? Why is it fully grown?

- Fucking why Prometheus?